weekending in norcal

this weekend we made the long, awful, but so worth it drive up to northern california to see my family. on friday night we had a little early birthday celebration for my amazing mom.

he's such a nerd sometimes

saturday was brookie's PROM!! gosh, i feel like i just went to prom and now it was her turn.  that little peanut is growing up way too fast!!  i am so happy i was able to be there with her on that day and help her get ready and do her make up!!  i felt so blessed to be there and be apart of it because it has mad me so sad to miss out on every other fancy dance and fun high school things that she's done the last four years.  the other awesome part about her prom is that her date was my date's little brother!!

spencer & i at my prom

spencer's brother tucker, and brookie at their prom!

my little brookie looked so stinkin hott!! we sent her off and she had the best time dancing the night away.

on sunday we went to napa to go wine tasting!  my cousin michael put together a special day for his best friend and his new girlfriend.  since michael has his private pilot's license he flew them over san francisco and landed in napa to have lunch and go wine tasting with all our families.  so they flew in and we drove and we all met up.  unfortunately it took a little longer than planned and napa was crazy busy (memorial weekend, duh) so it was a quick little lunch but so fun nonetheless, and he had such a sweet heart and was so thoughtful planning the whole thing!! 

quickest picnic ever!

how to drink in napa on a quick picnic

the picnic was quick because they had to get back on the plane before their rental time was up.  so after they left mom, dad, nick and i went to v. sattui and bought my favorite wine, gammay rouge, and enjoyed it together.  it was a great day and a great weekend.  we got up at 5 am monday morning to head back home..

we got home last night and on our way down we stopped in LA to have lunch with one of my favorite and longest friends, kristy.  it was so great to catch up and laugh like old times.

some random girl.. i'm pretty sure she forgot her pants at home..

we made it home without hitting any memorial day traffic!! that was shocking.

my cousin travis who is fighting in iraq right now

 so thankful this memorial day for all the soldiers who put their life on the line to fight for our country.

we are the land of the free because of the brave

reminiscing

it's no surprise that i'm feeling sentimental today and loving spending quality time with my hubs this weekend.  i can't believe how quickly this first year of marriage is going by.  it's so crazy to me.  so many of my friends are getting married and starting their exciting journeys and it just brings me right back to the day we said our "i do's".  what i would do to relive that day.  looking at our pictures and watching this video (that my sweet cousin chris taped and put together for us) never gets old.  God is good and we are so blessed :)

sweet tooth

my cousin michael is down visiting us this weekend so i wanted to make him his favorite.. chocolate chip cookies.  i tried a new recipe i found and it was fantastic.  if you like thick and chewy, then you HAVE to try this recipe!!

best chocolate chip cookies

2 cups of flour

1/2 teaspoon of baking soda

1/2 teaspoon of salt

3/4 cup of melted butter

1 cup of packed brown sugar

1/2 cup of sugar

1 tablespoon of vanilla extract

1 egg

1 egg yolk

2 cups of semisweet chocolate chips

• preheat oven to 325 degrees
• sift together the flour, baking soda & salt.. set aside
• in a separate mixing bowl, cream together the belted butter, brown and white sugars until well blended.  
• bead in the vanilla, egg & egg yolk until light and creamy
• slowly incorporate the flour mixture until just blended and then add in the chocolate chips
• drop 1/4 cup onto the cookie sheet and leave some space because they get big and thick!
• bake for 15-17 minutes.. and enjoy!!

love & war

"You have been entrusted with the heart of another human being.  Whatever else your life's great mission will entail, loving and defending this heart next to you is part of your great quest.  Marriage is the privilege and the honor of living as close to the heart as two people can get.  No one else in all the world has the opportunity to know each other more intimately than do a husband and wife.  We are invited into their secret lives, their truest selves; we come to know their nuances, their particular tastes, what they think is funny, what drives them crazy.  We are entrusted with their hopes and dreams, their wounds, and their fears.  An incredible honor is bestowed on the one to whom we pledge our lives and a deep privilege is given to us as well."  {chapter two, love & war}

about a month ago  i went on a lunch date with my sweet friend michelle.  we ate sushi (i think i eat too much sushi..) and talked the afternoon away for three whole hours.  we talked a lot about marriage and our marriages and she recommended a book to me, called "love and war" by john and stasi eldredge.  i knew that they were the authors of "captivating" (which i started like 8 times and never finished) and "wild at heart" (which nick loved).  i didn't really have much of an expectation going into and had nothing to lose so i ordered two copies for nick and i to read together.  we had been talking about wanting to go through a book together and spend our time digging deeper into each other instead of posting up in front of the tv after an exhausting day.. which is too easy to get caught up in doing.
i am only three chapters in, but let me just say that this book has changed my life, the way i view marriage & nick.  after reading only the first chapter, my heart felt so full and i was so beyond encouraged.  i love when the Lord works that way and meets us right where we are, when He speaks through people to write books that speak straight to my heart.  these chapters are packed full of wisdom and john and stasi being so real and honest- no sugar coating.  since this book is so intense (and nick is one chapter behind) i thought i would take today to reflect on the first three chapters and really let them sink in to my heart. 
i want to share some of the parts that i highlighted.  (i'm a highlighter.. nick isn't. he feels too guilty to "mess" up the book :)

chapter one

in the beginning they recognize right off the bat how hard marriage is.  i went into it knowing it wasn't going to be easy, but that it, no matter how hard it gets, is worth it.  they share their early struggles and make you feel more sane for having some of the same ones.  

• "asking for your marriage to flourish without God is like asking a tree to blossom without sunshine and water."
• "because marriage is hard, sometimes painfully hard, your first Great Battle is not to lose heart"  
  chapter two
   
• "i prayed yesterday that God would come into our sexuality; I prayed that his glory would fill our marriage bed." i love this. why would we pray for this? it seemed kind of weird to me at first but, oh my gosh. God is the creator of sex and intimacy so why wouldn't or shouldn't we be praying for this?!
• "love and intimacy are the core of His being, and so He gives to each of us a heart like His.  When God does this, he reveals our deepest purpose- to love and be loved."
• "but love is more powerful than Satan thought.  God will not abandon his beloved, even though we have abandoned Him.  He comes for us.  He fights to win us back."
• "Christianity is the greatest love story the world has ever known."
• "The heart of a man longs for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue... The heart of a woman longs for someone to fight for her, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to offer beauty... Notice how perfectly the desires of our hearts fit together.  Our souls are made for oneness in the same way our bodies fit beautifully together.  God designed us to bring one another passionate joy."  this might be my favorite.
• "I'll wager that 90 percent of the confusion, misunderstanding, struggle and disappointment in marriage is due to the fact that we do not understand what God is up to." 
• "God created marriage as a living, breathing portrait laid out before the eyes of the world so that they might see the story of the ages... It is a story of redemption, a story of healing; it is a story of love.  God gives us marriage to illustrate His heart toward us.  It is the deepest and most mythic reality in the world- that love is true, that God pursues us."
• "God uses marriage to bring us the possibility of the deepest joys in life; Satan tries to use it for destruction.  Without you, your spouse will not become the man or the woman that God intends him or her to be and the Kingdom of God will not advance as it is meant to advance... No one will have a great impact on your spouse's soul than you.  No one has greater access to your spouse's heart than you.  This is an enormous honor."
• "Of course loving costs everything- look at the Cross. But loving is always worth it... The devil hates marriage; he hates the beautiful picture of Jesus and His Bride that it represents."

chapter three

• "Marriage is the rushing stream God uses to shape us into more loving people."
• "He lures us into marriage and then uses it to transform us."
• "And what does learning to love look like?  Well, for one thing, it looks like compassion for your spouse's brokenness while choosing to turn from your own self-protective style of relating."
• "Understanding your spouse by understanding the unfolding story of their life is priceless."
• "What would happen in your relationship if you could both make the shift from 'changing you' to 'changing me'?" 
• "And we understand that there is no place on earth quite like marriage for the kind of transformation God is after."

 WOW. and that's just a little taste.

 after feeling so ministered to by words in this book i journaled..

One chapter in and the Lord is already speaking to my heart and giving me so much encouragement and hope.  I knew marriage would be hard, but I've never been married and so I didn't know what to expect.  Being married has brought out so much ugliness in my heart in the way i respond, it has surfaced my selfishness and put my immaturity on display.  as much as i try to deny it, i have fallen guilty to looking to nick for my happiness way more than i should.  nick is tangible and God is not which makes it so easy to stop trusting God sometimes.  i have always said that i will be a wife who loves the Lord more than my husband and i want so badly for that to be true...

When things get hard for us, or we get into an argument i feel so disheartened, i feel like a failure and i feel devastated.  i just want to be the best wife for nick.  i think one of the most beautiful things about marriage is that there is no hiding anything..  to nick, i am fully known and ever after all the crap is out there, i am still fully loved.  i have realized that love is messy and painful.. and refining.  God uses us to sharpen each other and the process more often than not hurts.  in order to keep Jesus at the center of our marriage we have to be intentional and it's not always easy to do but wow, when we let Him slip it's so obvious...

Nick's desires and mine are so different.  The way we both feel loved are completely different.  I want him to know me in and out, i want him to romance me, to be continually pursuing my heart, to validate my feelings and to fight for me no matter the cost.  i want to feel desired and beautiful.  i want to share every part of life and always be on the same page.  Nick needs to be validated as a man, and that he is good enough.  He needs to be encouraged and believed in, even in his wildest dreams.  He needs me to pursue and seduce him...

i feel a new season coming on, with so many unknowns, but i am really encouraged and excited about it.  i want to love nick like never before.  i want to become a better lover to him.  i want to keep learning him and everything in his heart.  i want to encourage and support him in a way that leaves no question.  i want to keep learning and growing."

as you can see, the Lord is stirring up a lot in my heart. 

people say that the first year of marriage is the hardest.  well, it isn't a cake walk but it's been the most incredible journey so far so if this is the worst then i can't wait to see what is to come.  between reading this book & spending the night at our wedding night hotel, listening to a million love songs, i have been pretty sappy and emotional the last few days.  i feel so honored to play such an 'irreplaceable role' in nick's life.  it's not something to take lightly and i have a lot to learn.  i'm so thankful for the handsome, patient, encouraging, loving, supportive, providing, and thoughtful husband i have.  the Lord has blessed me with a man with the most beautiful heart i have ever known.  i have fallen so much deeper in love with my husband and with the creator of love.

best weekend ever.

where to begin?!  i feel kind of weird writing out all the details of my amazing weekend thinking that someone would actually care to read it.. but i'm still excited about it so i'm going to anyways :)
on thursday night my friend faith spent the night with us because until she gets married on june 4th she is couch surfing and traveling back and forth to chicago and up to see her hubby-to-be in seal beach.  in the morning we got up way too early, started the day off right and went to the gym, then did some shopping!
also on thursday, my friend casey dropped off her adorable pup for the weekend so she could go cheer on her hubby for the padre/rockies series in colorado!  memphis was sooo much fun to have and he and chloe just had the best time together!  casey is the cutest little prego girl and she just blesses me so much!

on friday i spent the afternoon with vittoria & my friend kate who just moved to san diego for the summer!  we went to sushi then just hung out at home and watched date night.. i definitely think that movie is funnier the second time.  the first time i was so freaked out by it!
saturday was faith's bachelorette party.. we started at nicole's apartment with drinks, appetizers, crazy games and gifts.  then nicole's husband tony drove us downtown for a night of fun.  we went from place to place dancing the night away and enjoying a girls night out.  it was an amazing night that only got better as it went on!!

sunday was my favorite day of all.  so for a while now nick and i have been so busy with working (we have completely opposite schedules) and having so many things to do and places to be that we just sort of got into a routine.  i love coming home to him every night but by the time i get home he is exhausted :(  i'm dying to go on a romantic getaway or have a honeymoon round 2.. just to be somewhere else, with nothing to do but love on each other and relax and forget about all the demands in our everyday life.  also, since we got married we have been wanting to go back to the hotel we stayed at on our wedding night- INCREDIBLE.  It's called Se San Diego and it's in the gaslamp district downtown.  the other day on travelzoo they had a deal for that hotel and a bunch of extras thrown in so i went for it!  we stayed in the one bedroom king suite with a separate living area on the 15th floor with beautiful views of the skyline.. it was perfect.

our room was so amazing

for dinner we were deciding between a nice fancy steak dinner or...

sushi just sounded so amazing!!  it was great and we ran into the cute little walker family while we were there!!
after dinner we went back to the hotel.  it was the best feeling in the world to have nothing to do but each other.  yes i did just say that :)  among other things, we just got to hold each other without distraction, hear each other's hearts, talk about the future and what we want, and how incredible God is for creating this thing called marriage that we are so beyond blessed to have with each other.  the physical, emotional and spiritual intimacy is unreal.. and that is exactly how God created it to be.  as incredible as our marriage is we know there is more.. there has to be more.  marriage is a picture of God's love to us in the flesh and gosh, we are striving to love like never before and go deeper than we could ever think is possible.  i'm so thankful for the time we had this weekend to fall more in love and reach new heights in our relationship.  i love that it is only through Christ that nick and i can love each other the way we do.  i am so proud and honored to be nick's wife.  i'm feeling blessed today.. you should too :)

mr. & mrs. jennings

on saturday my sweet sister in law avery said i do and married a man who loves her like no one ever has before.  the last 5 days have been a whirlwind adventure!!  on wednesday night nick and i flew from san diego to denver.. we flew to denver instead of omaha or lincoln because the tickets were a couple hundred less!!  so when we got to denver we rented a car to drive to nebraska.  nick had rented a dodge charger to surprise me and have a super cool car to have for the weekend, BUT, they were out.  the nice lady at the counter said that since they were all out we were going to get an upgrade! woohooo!  apparently in denver an "upgrade" means mini-van.  we just laughed so hard and owned it! 

from there we drove to the krogh's house in a suburb right outside of denver to stay for the night.. even though we barely had any time with them it was good to see julie & cindy for just a little bit!!

friday morning we got up and on the road and drove about nine hours to get to timberlake ranch camp where the wedding was going to be. 
that night we started right away working on wedding details and then spent the night around the campfire before bed.  there is something so amazing about being around a fire with family.. i love it.
friday morning, avery's mother in law hosted a little bridal shower for her.  it was just family and sweet and intimate.

 after the bridal shower we headed back to the cabin we were staying in and worked on putting together our bridesmaids bouquets & opened our gifts from avery..

we all couldn't believe that avery, on top of planning a wedding in 4 months, had the time to make us each a beautiful quilt that fits our own individual personalities!! okay, but on the other hand, we totally could.  avery is the most thoughtful person i have ever known and is so incredible at making people feel so special and loved!  when nick and i got engaged she sent me the sweetest care package with a million little things in it, each with their own notes.  she is so amazing!
although a little out of order.. here's how the rest of the wedding weekend played out..

avery going over her vows before putting on her dress

havi, lace, blake & i

blake!

lucas!

at the rehearsal.. nick walking his mom down the aisle

i'm doing make-up, havi is working on the hair!

hitches

ave & all her brothers

at some point these all/were hitch girls :)

love my man

these never get old

so blessed with amazing mom & dad in law

the bride and groom letting go of their floating lights!

a tearful goodbye

gosh, i love him

my adorable nephew, everett

our cute flowers

after the wedding, we had a major family and friend hangout at the cabin.  the next morning was mothers day and all the guys cooked breakfast for the moms, it was so sweet.  i'm so glad i was there to love on my sweet mother in law, but it was also bittersweet because i couldn't give my mom a big hug.
after a relaxing morning we packed up and headed out camp back to the house to spend one night with family.  picture this.. sitting on a porch swing, on the porch of an old cute farmhouse in the middle of nebraska, where it's quiet outside, the breeze is warm and all you can see are green pastures.  i wanted to just press pause and stay in that moment forever.  words can't describe the feeling of how peaceful it is and how evident the presence of God is there.. so unreal.

after driving 7 hours back to denver we finally made it to the airport and on our way home

i loved these few days and i love being with family and i love the reason we were there.  i am so excited for avery and warren to start a new chapter in their lives as husband and wife and what an amazing team for the Lord they will be!  as we were were leaving, i was so sad to say bye, but my heart was also so full.  i feel terrible for people who marry into families and have in laws that they dread seeing.  i couldn't ask for a better family to call me their own.  they bless me and love me more than i could have ever asked for.  when we were saying our goodbye, my mom in law was hugging me crying and said to me, "i am so thankful that you are my daughter and i am so thankful that you are nick's wife"  those words, yet simple, meant the world to me and all i can say is that God is good.